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なんかフォロワーさんに「英語話せや」と叱られてたんでこのブログのコンテンツは英語で。

I go by 'megumi' or 'onkei' but most people here call me 'g-b.' Native Japanese. Mostly Japanese→English translations here. I post only what I want to, when I want to. 気楽に行こうぜ。NL/BL/GL, it's all good.
Not taking requests and I ain't gonna teach you Japanese. I can orient you on how to teach yourself though, just ask me privately.
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>>The current status quo<<

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Nobunaga: Does anyone need a Man Boy? Tatsuhisa: He comes with all normal functions.

Since I promised translation for latest Iwatobi Channel radio #15 first. 

[[MORE]]
Listen on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Nfp0p-y3_Q

-Tattsun says that he moved to a new place about 6 months ago, but since he hasn&#8217;t put up soundproofing yet, he got a complaint from the landlord that he was too noisy when he was making songs for his band. If he gets a second complaint, the landlord says, he&#8217;ll be evicted. Tattsun: I&#8217;m about to turn 30 in two months and I might be homeless! Zakki: Er&#8230; when that happens, you can come live with me. You can leave your stuff there until you find a new place.Tattsun: No way. Matsuoka is always at your place. You two are dating, aren&#8217;t you. Zakki: We&#8217;re not dating! I&#8217;m going to read mail now, okay senpai!! 

-First mail from Manager Gromi. Their school plays music through the speakers during lunchtime, and they were surprised when SPLASH FREE played along with two other songs from FREE. Gromi asks which song is their favorite. 
-Nobunaga and Tattsun first talk about how the same thing happened to them to their surprise: they went to eat after recording for FREE radio, and just as they were waiting for their food to come, Tattsun noticed that there was familiar music playing in the background and he realized &#8220;Oh, that&#8217;s us!&#8221; Tattsun thinks that it was probably playing because it was part of the ranking songs that time, which is really amazing because it&#8217;s a character song. He talked about the song in a loud voice, hoping that someone would notice that the people actually singing the song were there while the song was playing, except no one did. But the two were still pretty excited and they ended up commemorating it on Nobunaga&#8217;s Twitter. 
-Then Tattsun asks if anyone remembers the opening song. Because no one really talks about it. (・ω・ )
-Tattsun says that his favorite songs would have to be Makoto&#8217;s, but Zakki can&#8217;t say his favorite yet (in my opinion, it&#8217;s probably one of the duet songs?) 

-Tattsun says he was talking about Samezuka character CDs one time with acoustics, and Yanaka-san (voice of Sasabe) asked really happily &#8220;Can I sing too?&#8221; So Tattsun thought about how this could be possible and he came up with, &#8220;Why don&#8217;t Gou-chan, Sasabe, and Ama-chan sing together for a single. It&#8217;ll be called Iwatobi Back.&#8221; Zakki: Senpai, the way you use &#8220;back&#8221;&#8230;&#8230;
Because Makoto specializes in &#8220;back&#8221;stroke, but Tattsun&#8217;s kind of been using the word &#8220;back&#8221; this entire time (ever since FREE was only introduced as a preview) to mean &#8220;penetration from the back.&#8221; 

&#8212;FREE! Talking, they talk about episode 9 and reviews of the BD/DVD vol 1. 
-Listeners talk about how they were so happy to hear Haruka talk about his feelings that they almost cried, and how their hearts fluttered hearing Makoto&#8217;s words to Haru. 
-Tattsun reveals that this scene between Haruka and Makoto was actually done as a retake a week after they first did it. They don&#8217;t get many opportunities to rethink their scenes and redo. Zakki: It&#8217;s after Haruka takes in Makoto words about how he was happy he did the relay with him, that Haruka speaks, because Haruka wants to say that he was happy too. Tatsuhisa-san actually said at this time that it was okay if we record separately, but since these are words that start with me, I wanted us to do it together. Tattsun: Besides, you&#8217;ll get paid for it. Zakki: No, no, don&#8217;t say that!!! Tatsuhisa-san was kind enough to make it so that we recorded it together and later he said working together made it easier for the words to come from the heart. Tattsun: To go into a little bit of serious talk here, there was a long pause before that convo took place, right? Makoto gave him the juice, there was a silence, and then I start talking. It was because Makoto felt that he had to say those words to Haru that it all fell out. But Makoto wasn&#8217;t necessarily looking for a response from Haru after he said them. It was just that Haru felt from hearing Makoto&#8217;s words that he had to say for the first time that he was happy, and I kind of felt responsibility for that and I felt sorry that I couldn&#8217;t bring that out properly&#8212; so then I felt that I should be able to do that somehow, not to simply make it easier to communicate but to be able to speak in a way for Haruka as the individual to say those words, and that is my embarrassing confession for today&#8212; Zakki: No, that was wonderful!! Thank you!! Tattsun: The acoustics director said, &#8220;You (Haruka) can finally talk.&#8221; Everyone said, &#8220;You finally became human.&#8221; Zakki: Yes!!! It&#8217;s after this that Haruka becomes more cheerful and speaks in a more softer tone. 

-Tattsun says that he wants Hanamura-chan to be his. Tattsun: She&#8217;s mine. I take her. Zakki: You&#8217;re actually serious when you say that too. Tattsun: Yeah, I&#8217;m serious. And since I&#8217;m so serious, I asked Satou-chan (her VA) if I could have her. Zakki: S-Senpai, eh?! Tattsun: Since I thought it best that the person involved know my intention too, I asked Satou-chan if she&#8217;d give me Hanamura-chan. After she made this obvious face about how difficult it was for her to answer, she said &#8220;Come oooon.&#8221; Zakki: Senpai!!! That&#8217;s my senpai in Aoni Pro! Tattsun: I didn&#8217;t know how far I could go, so I tried asking if I could sleep with her. Zakki: What did she say? Tattsun: Oh, she quickly said no to that one. 

-Manager talks about their review on the BD/DVD. They think Haruka&#8217;s line about &#8220;I forgot the sight I saw&#8221; is OOC for him now, and they wonder if this is the &#8220;This is this and that is that&#8221; phrase that is so popular in FREE radio. 
-The phrase is actually said often by one of their acoustics directors as an excuse. The director said it as an excuse for big character changes between what you see in the character intro videos and what you see in the first episode, as an excuse for the difference between the series and the drama CDs, and also an excuse for the previews. 
-Zakki: This line by Haruka &#8220;I forgot the sight I saw&#8221; certainly isn&#8217;t something you would normally hear from him. It&#8217;s probably the only time you hear that way of talking from him. The way I interpreted it, Haruka said that because his excitement peaked and he was happy about swimming with Rin again. Tattsun: I thought since he was talking earlier about how he wanted to become a normal person, he said it because he was being half-cynical. Like, I don&#8217;t know, I forgot, show me dude. Zakki: &#8230;Since the director hasn&#8217;t told us what&#8217;s the correct way to look at it, I can&#8217;t deny it! 

-Tattsun says the UV coating, when caught in the light a certain way, looks white so it looks like Haruka is covered in cum. Tattsun: It&#8217;s covered all over the place, it has to be c*m. Zakki: It&#8217;s Haruka dripping wet with a lot of things. (Tattsun laughs) I didn&#8217;t say what! There&#8217;s the phrase that &#8220;a man looks good when he&#8217;s dripping wet,&#8221; right? 
-Then the staff actually bring up a picture of it in front of them, so Zakki is like &#8220;DON&#8217;T SHOW IT TO US! WE GOT IT!&#8221; 
-Next BD/DVD cover has Makoto, and Tattsun says &#8220;He&#8217;s covered in a lot of things. The water droplets, I mean. It&#8217;s so white! It&#8217;s thrashing everywhere!&#8221; 
-Then Tattsun admits that they&#8217;ve been doing serious talk for this radio, so getting to talk stupid like this is relaxing. And he talks about the white (water) droplets while pretending to come.

-They have a corner of little girls who are also fans of FREE! Zakki: (in his best old man voice) Little girl! Do you like FREE? Tattsun: That makes you sound like a kidnapper with candy. 
-One of the mail talks about their little sister in 1st grade who watches FREE. Little sister likes Makoto and she says &#8220;backstroke!&#8221; while pretending she&#8217;s doing the backstroke on the bed. Tattsun: That&#8217;s so cute. She&#8217;s still in 1st grade. The age when you still dream. Zakki: She says &#8220;backstroke&#8221; properly. Tattsun: That&#8217;s right. My specialty is the back. Zakki: Thank goodness she didn&#8217;t say &#8220;back.&#8221; Tattsun: Well, there&#8217;s still time. I&#8217;ll have to wait another 10 years, huh&#8230; Zakki: The Hikaru Genji plan? Tattsun; I&#8217;m gonna be 40 by then. I won&#8217;t be active much. Zakki: L-Let&#8217;s move on to the next one, shall we? 

-A mom bought FREE goods (fastener accessories) and attached Nagisa&#8217;s to her daughter&#8217;s bag. It became a big hit with her daughter&#8217;s class. Tattsun: Nagisa sure is in the position where he brings excitement to everyone. Zakki: The person who voices him is the same, too. Tattsun: He&#8217;ll be on the cover of the BD/DVD vol 3. He&#8217;s all covered in water droplets. A little too much, don&#8217;t you think? Zakki: The look might actually suit Nagisa the best. Tattsun: Eh, c*m? Zakki: Yes. Tattsun: Oh, really.Zakki: Yes. The stuff is all over Nagisa. The water drops are all over Nagisa. Tattsun: He&#8217;s had to hold himself back all this time. It&#8217;s been a couple of weeks. When you hold yourself back too long, a lot comes out. It&#8217;s only natural. Zakki: And the result of that was this package. 
(Both of them snort with laughter) 

-A parent wants them to hear about her daughter in the 4th grade. Her daughter said &#8220;I only swim freestyle,&#8221; then took her goggles and board and went into the bathtub. By the end of summer, she was able to swim 25m without using the board. Since her father was chosen to represent the prefectural team in his elementary school days, FREE! became the series where she became interested in swimming. She says things like &#8220;That breaststroke is pretty&#8221; and asks stuff like &#8220;Does Papa specialize in back?&#8221; Tattsun: I&#8217;m sure Papa does specialize in back. Zakki: &#8230;&#8230;well, yes, since it said he was an amazing swimmer. Tattsun: In bed though, he probably goes freestyle. 
-If the dad happens to hear their radio though, Tattsun says &#8220;I&#8217;ll prostrate myself to the ground. I&#8217;ll come sliding in at an unimaginable speed to prostrate myself. I&#8217;ll apologize with ferocity that no one has seen the likes of before.&#8221; Zakki: Yeah, and I&#8217;ll join you. Tattsun: I&#8217;ll go to apologize straightaway. When that happens, I&#8217;ll be really sorry. I&#8217;ll be sorry but&#8230; I just really wanted to joke around. I just couldn&#8217;t help myself! Zakki: I really hope your daughter doesn&#8217;t listen to Iwatobi Channel. Tattsun: Please listen to it between husband and wife only. 

&#8212;FREE! Training Usually they do a relay, but this time they&#8217;re doing &#8220;High Speed&#8221; because they got a lot of mail for this corner. Tattsun: Mail has exceeded over 5000 for this. Zakki: Whoaaaaa. Tattsun: You could make a small village with 5000. Zakki: A small village! Whoa! It&#8217;s like every resident sent out a letter! Tattsun/Zakki: (listening to staff outside) Oh, the 5000 is only a small part of a whole? Tattsun: We should make a FREE community. Zakki: Let&#8217;s make FREE Village. And we&#8217;ll raise mackerel. Tattsun: And everyone will be wearing swimsuits in the summer. 

-First trouble they receive is someone who takes off their pajama bottoms and, sometimes even, their underwear unconsciously as they sleep. Since they&#8217;ll be traveling with work buddies, they want to know how to prevent this. Tattsun: Wow. Why is this happening? Zakki: Yeah, why? Does she want to be free or something? Is she being held back by something as she sleeps? Does she think &#8220;I WANNA BE FREE&#8221;? 

-Second trouble, Manager Mayu watches FREE! with their mom who loves Haruka so much that she cooks mackerel three times a week. She even makes mackerel-pineapple. Now Mayu is so sick of mackerel that she feels she&#8217;ll even hate Haruka for it. Mayu wants to know how to make her mom stop cooking mackerel, and if Tattsun and Zakki like mackerel. (They do) Tattsun: Nobunaga should answer this one as Haruka to stop her mother. Strip off your layers (pun for &#8220;do better than what your vessel contains&#8221;) for Manager Mayu!Zakki: When you say strip, it makes me think for a second of actually stripping. Tattsun: Well, it&#8217;s because even during the closing party i was stripping you. Zakki: Yeah! And during the time I was speaking seriously about how it was all thanks to everyone&#8230;Tattsun: Yeah, I was undoing the buttons on your shirt one by one. And not with both hands but one hand. It was a familiar movement.Zakki: I&#8217;ve gotten used to being stripped. As expected from the Love Master Tattsun! Tattsun: Go answer. Go answer, Haruka. Zakki: (in Haruka&#8217;s voice) Mayu. I like other seafood too, not just mackerel. So tell that to your mom for me. But&#8230; I&#8217;d be happy if you grew to love mackerel more, Mayu. I&#8217;m counting on you. Tattsun: Ooohhhh!!! Wow. It&#8217;s as if all that rambling you did as Case-kun was a lie. Zakki: As Haruka, I feel like&#8230; I should do it properly. Shimazaki Nobunaga is a rambler, but Nanase Haruka-kun isn&#8217;t. Tattsun: (laughing) You just picked a fight with me and Miyata-san just now, did you. You shouldn&#8217;t do that, you need to be one with the case!Zakki: I see&#8230; You&#8217;re right, I&#8217;m sorry! Tattsun: How could you forget something so basic?! You fool!Zakki: (pretends to be hit) Ahh! Thank you! 

-Third trouble is by someone who named themself &#8220;I love Rin-chan so much I can&#8217;t help myself&#8221; Tattsun: Then go get help. Next letter from Manager Pinky&#8212;Zakki: High speed! High speed!
Tattsun reads the mail anyway. Someone once sent Tattsun a mail that they loved Makoto a whole lot, and Tattsun said they should enroll as a manager in Iwatobi and see where it takes them from there. So this manager who loves Rin-chan thought she should enter Samezuka as a manager too&#8212; except it&#8217;s an all-boys school and she&#8217;s a girl, so what should she do? Tattsun: Why not do something like Hana to Yume? Something like Hanazakari no Kimitachi e? Where the girl dresses up as a boy? It could work. Then, even if you get found out and they go &#8220;Eh, you&#8217;re a girl?&#8221; you can act cute. Zakki: I think Rin-chan will be the type to protect you in times like that. Tattsun: Or push you so far away from him. Like, put distance between you as wide as the ocean while going &#8220;That&#8217;s gross, that&#8217;s fucking gross.&#8221; Zakki: Well, yeah, it is Rin-chan. He&#8217;s nice to his sister, but we don&#8217;t know how he acts to other girls. Tattsun: I think Nitori-kun will be nice.Zakki: But if you get close to Rin-chan, there&#8217;s no telling how Nitori-kun will act. Tattsun: He&#8217;ll be going &#8220;Kiiiiiiii!&#8221; &#8220;That little slut!&#8221; It&#8217;s going to end up being a soap opera. I swear, that&#8217;s how it&#8217;s going to happen. He&#8217;ll be mumbling under his breath all fervently going &#8220;That girl is hanging around senpai again&#8230;&#8221; Zakki: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit&#8230;Tattsun: And then, it will end up being Samezuka no Naku Koro ni. 

[Random plug for Iwatobi no Naku Koro ni] 


-Next mail from Manager Pinky, who says that her heart belonged to Mamo but then she fell in love with a boy in her class. She wants to confess to him, but she wonders if it will be quicker if she just pulled him towards her for a kiss. Tattsun: KEEP GOING AND R*PE HIM! I&#8217;m just going with the flow with my answers right now. I mean, if Pinky&#8217;s wondering if kissing works better, she&#8217;s already set to do it, am I right? Zakki: Even her name is Pinky, so she&#8217;s pretty pink. (Pink = mood set for romance)Tattsun: Just be like the shark character that Mamoru/Rin is and ATTACK! Zakki: BE A CARNIVOROUS GIRL! 

-In connection to the last mail, they talk about different types of boys/girls and Tattsun talks about a magazine on women fashion he happened to spot that said &#8220;Woman Girl&#8221;&#8230; I&#8217;m not sure how to translate this &#8220;woman&#8221; into English because the term &#8220;mesu&#8221; means &#8220;female who only acts on animal instincts = females in heat = sex&#8221; (That&#8217;s also the same connotation I mean for the &#8220;Man Boy&#8221; that Nobunaga says at the beginning). So I guess &#8220;Whore Girl&#8221; would be the slightly better term? Hmm, but it&#8217;s not really&#8230; Tattsun: Eh, are you girls okay with being called mesu?! Zakki: What was the difference? Tattsun: I have no idea, I was looking through it thinking &#8220;Y&#8217;all look like normal girls.&#8221; Where does the mesu factor come in?! But if it was an issue of whether I&#8217;d sleep with one or not, I would sleep with one. 
-Eventually, with help from staff who look it up from them, they conclude that the Mesu Girl is the girl who acts like a trap. They act innocent, inviting their prey to come closer to them, and then grab hold of their prey when it gets in their trap. 

-Last mail, the manager looked up Makoto&#8217;s official profile to find that he is 183cm tall. She says that it&#8217;s the same height as the vending machines in Japan (Tattsun: Really?!), and when she told that to her friend who loves Makoto, her friend will say &#8220;It&#8217;s Mako-chan!&#8221; whenever she sees a vending machine. When there is more than one vending machine there, she&#8217;ll say &#8220;There are so many Mako-chan!&#8221; And she wanted to find out the height difference between her and Mako-chan, so she asked to take a picture with the vending machine. Since her friend seemed really happy, the listener is glad that they told her, but other people found out her friend&#8217;s photo with the vending machine (Makoto) so her friend has been nicknamed &#8220;Vending Machine&#8221; and listener feels really sorry about that and doesn&#8217;t know what to do. 
They even sent a picture attached to the mail, which Tattsun and Zakki looked at. Tattsun: I see, so that&#8217;s Makoto&#8230; I didn&#8217;t realize. So since it&#8217;s frequently around train stations and the side of the road, people passing by to go to school or to work will go by often. When you see a vending machine, please think of it telling you this: 
(in Makoto&#8217;s voice) Everyone, good morning! 
And if you&#8217;re commuting to work, 
(in Makoto&#8217;s voice) Do your best today! Zakki: What service! Tattsun: Then on your way back home, while you&#8217;re walking at night and it&#8217;s dark, the streetlights only light up so much but the vending machine lights are pretty bright, right? People are saved by that. So in those times, please think of it telling you this: 
(in Makoto&#8217;s voice) Good work today! You worked hard. It&#8217;s dangerous at night, so I&#8217;ll light up your path for you. Zakki: Tatsuhisa-san, you can seriously make profit from that. If you just made a CD with Makoto&#8217;s voice on it, it will sell. 
-Then Tattsun gets embarrassed and says &#8220;That pleases you all, huh?! Be pleasured!!!&#8221; Zakki: Makoto is watching over you all over Japan. 

-In the ending, they talk more about Mesu Girls. Tattsun: (reading an advertisement) &#8220;The Mesu Girl has many minds, but what&#8217;s commonly shared between them is that they are positive.&#8221; Don&#8217;t think you&#8217;re fooling anybody, idiot. You&#8217;re a hunter! If you just want to fuck, just say so! 

I&#8217;m pooped.

Nobunaga: Does anyone need a Man Boy?
Tatsuhisa: He comes with all normal functions.

Since I promised translation for latest Iwatobi Channel radio #15 first.


Listen on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Nfp0p-y3_Q

-Tattsun says that he moved to a new place about 6 months ago, but since he hasn’t put up soundproofing yet, he got a complaint from the landlord that he was too noisy when he was making songs for his band. If he gets a second complaint, the landlord says, he’ll be evicted.
Tattsun: I’m about to turn 30 in two months and I might be homeless!
Zakki: Er… when that happens, you can come live with me. You can leave your stuff there until you find a new place.
Tattsun: No way. Matsuoka is always at your place. You two are dating, aren’t you.
Zakki: We’re not dating! I’m going to read mail now, okay senpai!!

-First mail from Manager Gromi. Their school plays music through the speakers during lunchtime, and they were surprised when SPLASH FREE played along with two other songs from FREE. Gromi asks which song is their favorite.
-Nobunaga and Tattsun first talk about how the same thing happened to them to their surprise: they went to eat after recording for FREE radio, and just as they were waiting for their food to come, Tattsun noticed that there was familiar music playing in the background and he realized “Oh, that’s us!” Tattsun thinks that it was probably playing because it was part of the ranking songs that time, which is really amazing because it’s a character song. He talked about the song in a loud voice, hoping that someone would notice that the people actually singing the song were there while the song was playing, except no one did. But the two were still pretty excited and they ended up commemorating it on Nobunaga’s Twitter.
-Then Tattsun asks if anyone remembers the opening song. Because no one really talks about it. (・ω・ )
-Tattsun says that his favorite songs would have to be Makoto’s, but Zakki can’t say his favorite yet (in my opinion, it’s probably one of the duet songs?)

-Tattsun says he was talking about Samezuka character CDs one time with acoustics, and Yanaka-san (voice of Sasabe) asked really happily “Can I sing too?” So Tattsun thought about how this could be possible and he came up with, “Why don’t Gou-chan, Sasabe, and Ama-chan sing together for a single. It’ll be called Iwatobi Back.”
Zakki: Senpai, the way you use “back”……
Because Makoto specializes in “back”stroke, but Tattsun’s kind of been using the word “back” this entire time (ever since FREE was only introduced as a preview) to mean “penetration from the back.”

FREE! Talking, they talk about episode 9 and reviews of the BD/DVD vol 1.
-Listeners talk about how they were so happy to hear Haruka talk about his feelings that they almost cried, and how their hearts fluttered hearing Makoto’s words to Haru.
-Tattsun reveals that this scene between Haruka and Makoto was actually done as a retake a week after they first did it. They don’t get many opportunities to rethink their scenes and redo.
Zakki: It’s after Haruka takes in Makoto words about how he was happy he did the relay with him, that Haruka speaks, because Haruka wants to say that he was happy too. Tatsuhisa-san actually said at this time that it was okay if we record separately, but since these are words that start with me, I wanted us to do it together.
Tattsun: Besides, you’ll get paid for it.
Zakki: No, no, don’t say that!!! Tatsuhisa-san was kind enough to make it so that we recorded it together and later he said working together made it easier for the words to come from the heart.
Tattsun: To go into a little bit of serious talk here, there was a long pause before that convo took place, right? Makoto gave him the juice, there was a silence, and then I start talking. It was because Makoto felt that he had to say those words to Haru that it all fell out. But Makoto wasn’t necessarily looking for a response from Haru after he said them. It was just that Haru felt from hearing Makoto’s words that he had to say for the first time that he was happy, and I kind of felt responsibility for that and I felt sorry that I couldn’t bring that out properly— so then I felt that I should be able to do that somehow, not to simply make it easier to communicate but to be able to speak in a way for Haruka as the individual to say those words, and that is my embarrassing confession for today—
Zakki: No, that was wonderful!! Thank you!!
Tattsun: The acoustics director said, “You (Haruka) can finally talk.” Everyone said, “You finally became human.”
Zakki: Yes!!! It’s after this that Haruka becomes more cheerful and speaks in a more softer tone.

-Tattsun says that he wants Hanamura-chan to be his.
Tattsun: She’s mine. I take her.
Zakki: You’re actually serious when you say that too.
Tattsun: Yeah, I’m serious. And since I’m so serious, I asked Satou-chan (her VA) if I could have her.
Zakki: S-Senpai, eh?!
Tattsun: Since I thought it best that the person involved know my intention too, I asked Satou-chan if she’d give me Hanamura-chan. After she made this obvious face about how difficult it was for her to answer, she said “Come oooon.”
Zakki: Senpai!!! That’s my senpai in Aoni Pro!
Tattsun: I didn’t know how far I could go, so I tried asking if I could sleep with her.
Zakki: What did she say?
Tattsun: Oh, she quickly said no to that one.

-Manager talks about their review on the BD/DVD. They think Haruka’s line about “I forgot the sight I saw” is OOC for him now, and they wonder if this is the “This is this and that is that” phrase that is so popular in FREE radio.
-The phrase is actually said often by one of their acoustics directors as an excuse. The director said it as an excuse for big character changes between what you see in the character intro videos and what you see in the first episode, as an excuse for the difference between the series and the drama CDs, and also an excuse for the previews.
-Zakki: This line by Haruka “I forgot the sight I saw” certainly isn’t something you would normally hear from him. It’s probably the only time you hear that way of talking from him. The way I interpreted it, Haruka said that because his excitement peaked and he was happy about swimming with Rin again.
Tattsun: I thought since he was talking earlier about how he wanted to become a normal person, he said it because he was being half-cynical. Like, I don’t know, I forgot, show me dude.
Zakki: …Since the director hasn’t told us what’s the correct way to look at it, I can’t deny it!

-Tattsun says the UV coating, when caught in the light a certain way, looks white so it looks like Haruka is covered in cum.
Tattsun: It’s covered all over the place, it has to be c*m.
Zakki: It’s Haruka dripping wet with a lot of things. (Tattsun laughs) I didn’t say what! There’s the phrase that “a man looks good when he’s dripping wet,” right?
-Then the staff actually bring up a picture of it in front of them, so Zakki is like “DON’T SHOW IT TO US! WE GOT IT!”
-Next BD/DVD cover has Makoto, and Tattsun says “He’s covered in a lot of things. The water droplets, I mean. It’s so white! It’s thrashing everywhere!”
-Then Tattsun admits that they’ve been doing serious talk for this radio, so getting to talk stupid like this is relaxing. And he talks about the white (water) droplets while pretending to come.

-They have a corner of little girls who are also fans of FREE!
Zakki: (in his best old man voice) Little girl! Do you like FREE?
Tattsun: That makes you sound like a kidnapper with candy.
-One of the mail talks about their little sister in 1st grade who watches FREE. Little sister likes Makoto and she says “backstroke!” while pretending she’s doing the backstroke on the bed.
Tattsun: That’s so cute. She’s still in 1st grade. The age when you still dream.
Zakki: She says “backstroke” properly.
Tattsun: That’s right. My specialty is the back.
Zakki: Thank goodness she didn’t say “back.”
Tattsun: Well, there’s still time. I’ll have to wait another 10 years, huh…
Zakki: The Hikaru Genji plan?
Tattsun; I’m gonna be 40 by then. I won’t be active much.
Zakki: L-Let’s move on to the next one, shall we?

-A mom bought FREE goods (fastener accessories) and attached Nagisa’s to her daughter’s bag. It became a big hit with her daughter’s class.
Tattsun: Nagisa sure is in the position where he brings excitement to everyone.
Zakki: The person who voices him is the same, too.
Tattsun: He’ll be on the cover of the BD/DVD vol 3. He’s all covered in water droplets. A little too much, don’t you think?
Zakki: The look might actually suit Nagisa the best.
Tattsun: Eh, c*m?
Zakki: Yes.
Tattsun: Oh, really.
Zakki: Yes. The stuff is all over Nagisa. The water drops are all over Nagisa.
Tattsun: He’s had to hold himself back all this time. It’s been a couple of weeks. When you hold yourself back too long, a lot comes out. It’s only natural.
Zakki: And the result of that was this package.
(Both of them snort with laughter)

-A parent wants them to hear about her daughter in the 4th grade. Her daughter said “I only swim freestyle,” then took her goggles and board and went into the bathtub. By the end of summer, she was able to swim 25m without using the board. Since her father was chosen to represent the prefectural team in his elementary school days, FREE! became the series where she became interested in swimming. She says things like “That breaststroke is pretty” and asks stuff like “Does Papa specialize in back?”
Tattsun: I’m sure Papa does specialize in back.
Zakki: ……well, yes, since it said he was an amazing swimmer.
Tattsun: In bed though, he probably goes freestyle.
-If the dad happens to hear their radio though, Tattsun says “I’ll prostrate myself to the ground. I’ll come sliding in at an unimaginable speed to prostrate myself. I’ll apologize with ferocity that no one has seen the likes of before.”
Zakki: Yeah, and I’ll join you.
Tattsun: I’ll go to apologize straightaway. When that happens, I’ll be really sorry. I’ll be sorry but… I just really wanted to joke around. I just couldn’t help myself!
Zakki: I really hope your daughter doesn’t listen to Iwatobi Channel.
Tattsun: Please listen to it between husband and wife only.

FREE! Training Usually they do a relay, but this time they’re doing “High Speed” because they got a lot of mail for this corner.
Tattsun: Mail has exceeded over 5000 for this.
Zakki: Whoaaaaa.
Tattsun: You could make a small village with 5000.
Zakki: A small village! Whoa! It’s like every resident sent out a letter!
Tattsun/Zakki: (listening to staff outside) Oh, the 5000 is only a small part of a whole?
Tattsun: We should make a FREE community.
Zakki: Let’s make FREE Village. And we’ll raise mackerel.
Tattsun: And everyone will be wearing swimsuits in the summer.

-First trouble they receive is someone who takes off their pajama bottoms and, sometimes even, their underwear unconsciously as they sleep. Since they’ll be traveling with work buddies, they want to know how to prevent this.
Tattsun: Wow. Why is this happening?
Zakki: Yeah, why? Does she want to be free or something? Is she being held back by something as she sleeps? Does she think “I WANNA BE FREE”?

-Second trouble, Manager Mayu watches FREE! with their mom who loves Haruka so much that she cooks mackerel three times a week. She even makes mackerel-pineapple. Now Mayu is so sick of mackerel that she feels she’ll even hate Haruka for it. Mayu wants to know how to make her mom stop cooking mackerel, and if Tattsun and Zakki like mackerel. (They do)
Tattsun: Nobunaga should answer this one as Haruka to stop her mother. Strip off your layers (pun for “do better than what your vessel contains”) for Manager Mayu!
Zakki: When you say strip, it makes me think for a second of actually stripping.
Tattsun: Well, it’s because even during the closing party i was stripping you.
Zakki: Yeah! And during the time I was speaking seriously about how it was all thanks to everyone…
Tattsun: Yeah, I was undoing the buttons on your shirt one by one. And not with both hands but one hand. It was a familiar movement.
Zakki: I’ve gotten used to being stripped. As expected from the Love Master Tattsun!
Tattsun: Go answer. Go answer, Haruka.
Zakki: (in Haruka’s voice) Mayu. I like other seafood too, not just mackerel. So tell that to your mom for me. But… I’d be happy if you grew to love mackerel more, Mayu. I’m counting on you.
Tattsun: Ooohhhh!!! Wow. It’s as if all that rambling you did as Case-kun was a lie.
Zakki: As Haruka, I feel like… I should do it properly. Shimazaki Nobunaga is a rambler, but Nanase Haruka-kun isn’t.
Tattsun: (laughing) You just picked a fight with me and Miyata-san just now, did you. You shouldn’t do that, you need to be one with the case!
Zakki: I see… You’re right, I’m sorry!
Tattsun: How could you forget something so basic?! You fool!
Zakki: (pretends to be hit) Ahh! Thank you!

-Third trouble is by someone who named themself “I love Rin-chan so much I can’t help myself”
Tattsun: Then go get help. Next letter from Manager Pinky—
Zakki: High speed! High speed!
Tattsun reads the mail anyway. Someone once sent Tattsun a mail that they loved Makoto a whole lot, and Tattsun said they should enroll as a manager in Iwatobi and see where it takes them from there. So this manager who loves Rin-chan thought she should enter Samezuka as a manager too— except it’s an all-boys school and she’s a girl, so what should she do?
Tattsun: Why not do something like Hana to Yume? Something like Hanazakari no Kimitachi e? Where the girl dresses up as a boy? It could work. Then, even if you get found out and they go “Eh, you’re a girl?” you can act cute.
Zakki: I think Rin-chan will be the type to protect you in times like that.
Tattsun: Or push you so far away from him. Like, put distance between you as wide as the ocean while going “That’s gross, that’s fucking gross.”
Zakki: Well, yeah, it is Rin-chan. He’s nice to his sister, but we don’t know how he acts to other girls.
Tattsun: I think Nitori-kun will be nice.
Zakki: But if you get close to Rin-chan, there’s no telling how Nitori-kun will act.
Tattsun: He’ll be going “Kiiiiiiii!” “That little slut!” It’s going to end up being a soap opera. I swear, that’s how it’s going to happen. He’ll be mumbling under his breath all fervently going “That girl is hanging around senpai again…”
Zakki: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…
Tattsun: And then, it will end up being Samezuka no Naku Koro ni.

[Random plug for Iwatobi no Naku Koro ni]


-Next mail from Manager Pinky, who says that her heart belonged to Mamo but then she fell in love with a boy in her class. She wants to confess to him, but she wonders if it will be quicker if she just pulled him towards her for a kiss.
Tattsun: KEEP GOING AND R*PE HIM! I’m just going with the flow with my answers right now. I mean, if Pinky’s wondering if kissing works better, she’s already set to do it, am I right?
Zakki: Even her name is Pinky, so she’s pretty pink. (Pink = mood set for romance)
Tattsun: Just be like the shark character that Mamoru/Rin is and ATTACK!
Zakki: BE A CARNIVOROUS GIRL!

-In connection to the last mail, they talk about different types of boys/girls and Tattsun talks about a magazine on women fashion he happened to spot that said “Woman Girl”… I’m not sure how to translate this “woman” into English because the term “mesu” means “female who only acts on animal instincts = females in heat = sex” (That’s also the same connotation I mean for the “Man Boy” that Nobunaga says at the beginning). So I guess “Whore Girl” would be the slightly better term? Hmm, but it’s not really…
Tattsun: Eh, are you girls okay with being called mesu?!
Zakki: What was the difference?
Tattsun: I have no idea, I was looking through it thinking “Y’all look like normal girls.” Where does the mesu factor come in?! But if it was an issue of whether I’d sleep with one or not, I would sleep with one.
-Eventually, with help from staff who look it up from them, they conclude that the Mesu Girl is the girl who acts like a trap. They act innocent, inviting their prey to come closer to them, and then grab hold of their prey when it gets in their trap.

-Last mail, the manager looked up Makoto’s official profile to find that he is 183cm tall. She says that it’s the same height as the vending machines in Japan (Tattsun: Really?!), and when she told that to her friend who loves Makoto, her friend will say “It’s Mako-chan!” whenever she sees a vending machine. When there is more than one vending machine there, she’ll say “There are so many Mako-chan!” And she wanted to find out the height difference between her and Mako-chan, so she asked to take a picture with the vending machine. Since her friend seemed really happy, the listener is glad that they told her, but other people found out her friend’s photo with the vending machine (Makoto) so her friend has been nicknamed “Vending Machine” and listener feels really sorry about that and doesn’t know what to do.
They even sent a picture attached to the mail, which Tattsun and Zakki looked at.
Tattsun: I see, so that’s Makoto… I didn’t realize. So since it’s frequently around train stations and the side of the road, people passing by to go to school or to work will go by often. When you see a vending machine, please think of it telling you this:
(in Makoto’s voice) Everyone, good morning!
And if you’re commuting to work,
(in Makoto’s voice) Do your best today!
Zakki: What service!
Tattsun: Then on your way back home, while you’re walking at night and it’s dark, the streetlights only light up so much but the vending machine lights are pretty bright, right? People are saved by that. So in those times, please think of it telling you this:
(in Makoto’s voice) Good work today! You worked hard. It’s dangerous at night, so I’ll light up your path for you.
Zakki: Tatsuhisa-san, you can seriously make profit from that. If you just made a CD with Makoto’s voice on it, it will sell.
-Then Tattsun gets embarrassed and says “That pleases you all, huh?! Be pleasured!!!”
Zakki: Makoto is watching over you all over Japan.

-In the ending, they talk more about Mesu Girls.
Tattsun: (reading an advertisement) “The Mesu Girl has many minds, but what’s commonly shared between them is that they are positive.” Don’t think you’re fooling anybody, idiot. You’re a hunter! If you just want to fuck, just say so!

I’m pooped.


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